10 Ways To Make Your Thanksgiving More Historically Accurate

[Richard Cranium]

Nov 22, 2022

We all know Thanksgiving is a time of family and delicious food, but is your Thanksgiving historically accurate? Tap into your heritage and spice up your holidays by making your Thanksgiving more true to history than ever before this year!
Here are some tips:

1. Wait for half your relatives to die in the harsh winter before celebrating: You'll have less drama.
2. Invite famous Native American Elizabeth Warren to bring you a deer carcass: Delicious!
3. Make the women do all the cooking over an open hearth: And have them ditch the pumpkin pie for a historically authentic eel pie.
4. Ask Uncle Bob to deliver a 3-hour Puritan sermon before eating: It's better than listening to his political rants.
5. Weld an oil funnel onto your 12-gauge and go skeet shooting with your new blunderbuss: With a 10-foot spread, you can't miss!
6. Silence the children with a swift strike upon the cheek: As was Puritan custom.
7. Have one of the family members wear an authentic buffalo-skin loincloth and give everyone a corn-planting lesson: As long as it's not Uncle Bob.
8. Get the COVID booster to simulate the feeling of influenza: Wow! This is just how William Bradford must have felt!
9. Lose a couple of fingers to frostbite: Hey! You have plenty more!
10. Show more humility and gratefulness than you ever have in your life: Man, those Puritans knew how to be THANKFUL.

Enjoy!

 

[Ray70Chrg]

Nov 22, 2022
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We all know Thanksgiving is a time of family and delicious food, but is your Thanksgiving historically accurate? Tap into your heritage and spice up your holidays by making your Thanksgiving more true to history than ever before this year!
Here are some tips:

1. Wait for half your relatives to die in the harsh winter before celebrating: You'll have less drama.
2. Invite famous Native American Elizabeth Warren to bring you a deer carcass: Delicious!
3. Make the women do all the cooking over an open hearth: And have them ditch the pumpkin pie for a historically authentic eel pie.
4. Ask Uncle Bob to deliver a 3-hour Puritan sermon before eating: It's better than listening to his political rants.
5. Weld an oil funnel onto your 12-gauge and go skeet shooting with your new blunderbuss: With a 10-foot spread, you can't miss!
6. Silence the children with a swift strike upon the cheek: As was Puritan custom.
7. Have one of the family members wear an authentic buffalo-skin loincloth and give everyone a corn-planting lesson: As long as it's not Uncle Bob.
8. Get the COVID booster to simulate the feeling of influenza: Wow! This is just how William Bradford must have felt!
9. Lose a couple of fingers to frostbite: Hey! You have plenty more!
10. Show more humility and gratefulness than you ever have in your life: Man, those Puritans knew how to be THANKFUL.

Enjoy!

We missed all that good stuff by about 300 years. My grandparents got here in the early 1920s. But we celebrate Thanksgiving and are thankful to all who came before us. I just wish they would have rethought the slavery thing.

 

[Budnicks]

You've been to my place RC (?)

you met my crazy uncle (?) RIP

I have changed a ton in my later years, less selfish,
maybe less tradition too

Thanksgivings are far 'less hectic' the past 17 or so years
since I moved upcountry

I told the kids;
"they have hectic lives now, don't worry & that I remember how that was
I have my dad & I'm an empty nester... Go & do 'what you need to or like'...

(3 of the 4 sisters I have left (of 5) are worthless, leaches, everything has to be
on their schedules, their way, & cheap... I did that for way too many years, not anymore)

They/the kids & their spouses & families 'need to have fun'
& enjoy it, 'do whatever they want', not fit their lives into my schedule
go to whom ever's 'house, friend or family, they want to celebrate at'...
I don't mind, I actually prefer it now...
They can visit me anytime...
That's thanksgiving to me... not the 3rd Thursday in Nov.

(we have every other year at Christmas, even years are at the in-laws,
odd years are our family, sometimes Thanksgiving too, depending on the mood)