Was I in the wrong?

[1967coronet440]

First off this is a post about a personal event in my life, I know some people think you shouldn’t post that stuff here but I am, so if you don’t agree with it don’t read below or respond.

My wife had a kid from her previous marriage, he’s a Good kid I treat him like he’s mine, I’d take a bullet for him. Anyway he came back from his dads a couple weeks ago and one night at the dinner table told me that his dad told him that if I ever put my hands on him that he would kick my ***. Essentially I let it go and only responded “ok” but I thought about it more later and wtf kind of message is that to relay through a kid? If it’s me I’m telling the guy to his face, “you touch my son and I’m ******* you up” even though I don’t think he even has the room to say that since he literally provides nothing for the kid, but that’s another story. so when he came to pick him up Friday I went out there before the wife and kid and told him how I felt. “If you got anything to say to me, say it here don’t involve the kid” it got a bit heated, voices were raised but no punches thrown (i wanted to drop his *** but knew the kid was coming out any second) he was drunk, he’s been too rehab twice for alcoholso I ended up not even letting the kid go since I could smell beer on him. Anyway my wife wasn’t happy I went out there to talk to him but I felt it was 100% necessary, what say you?

I Apologize for the mini rant...

any input is appreciated as always.

Bo

 

[PP1RT]

The kid will figure out who the better man is on his own as he grows up. Dont ruin it...your ahead.

 

[joe smith]

Alcohol will bring out the worst at the wrong times... Be cool ( that is doing what I say not what I "used to do')....
Let him look bad.. Everyone will see it, you wont have to do a thing....

 

[Mike67]

Sounds like you are more of a father than the ex..,I think you handled it pretty good.
Coming from a split home from the time I was seven I can give you some perspective on what I thought as a kid...my dad was not a nice guy, responsible yes, hard working yes, but not a guy you wanted to cross or be around when drunk...but in my eyes he was still my dad and every thing he did was overlooked with hopes of being a family again.
He ended up remarrying which I kind of resented for several years, she was nice and was never mean but it was a tough pill for a 10 yo to swallow...I have called her mom for the. 30 Years.... She straightened dad out and is a great guy,grandfather and dad..been so for a long time...
Blood doesn't necessarily make family, a genuine care and love for each other does though...
I don't know how old your boy is but as long as you care for him the way a real parent does he'll figure it out, your wife will see and appreciate it and the ex will be a guy that comes by once a month...
Sorry for the run on....

 

[Frank Mopar]

The kid already knows

 

[1967coronet440]

Sounds like you are more of a father than the ex..,I think you handled it pretty good.
Coming from a split home from the time I was seven I can give you some perspective on what I thought as a kid...my dad was not a nice guy, responsible yes, hard working yes, but not a guy you wanted to cross or be around when drunk...but in my eyes he was still my dad and every thing he did was overlooked with hopes of being a family again.
He ended up remarrying which I kind of resented for several years, she was nice and was never mean but it was a tough pull for a 10 yo to swallow...I have called her mom for the. 30 Years.... She straightened dad out and is a great guy,grandfather and dad..been so for a long time...
Blood doesn't necessarily make family, a genuine care and love for each other does though...
I don't know how old your boy is but as long as you care for him the way a real parent does he'll figure it out, your wife will see and appreciate it and the ex will be a guy that comes by once a month...
Sorry for the run on....

He’s only 7... that’s what I told my wife, He’s getting old enough to realize what’s going on...

 

[Xp29h]

When I first started reading your post, my first thought when you quoted him, was he drinking? As I read on.., bingo. That sounded just like something a drunk blowhard would say.

That said, the child needs a constant voice of reasoning and common sense if he has to deal with that until he's old enough to not deal with that. Take the high road whenever you can.

 

[steve from staten island]

My opinion. Your wife was annoyed at you because she knows her ex is a jerk. You did what you thought you had to do and thats all that counts, Period. Forget about what i think or anybody thinks . (although i agree with you and respect you for be a good father to your stepchild)

 

[1967coronet440]

When I first started reading your post, my first thought when you quoted him, was he drinking? As I read on.., bingo. That sounded just like something a drunk blowhard would say.

That said, the child needs a constant voice of reasoning and common sense if he has to deal with that until he's old enough to not deal with that. Take the high road whenever you can.

I raise the kids the way My father raised me, im stern no means no. It’s worked well as they’re very respectful kids. The 7 yo mentioned in the story, brought me to his school for “special person day” which was cool. My 2 year old adores me along with the 4 year old Jordan, who always tells me “when I get bigger like you I’m going to build a race car faster than yours and beat you in a race” lol he’s a riot. Anyway thanks for the advice my friend.

 

[1967coronet440]

My opinion. Your wife was annoyed at you because she knows her ex is a jerk. You did what you thought you had to do and thats all that counts, Period. Forget about what i think or anybody thinks . (although i agree with you and respect you for be a good father to your stepchild)

Thanks for the response, Steve

I appreciate it

 

[kiwigtx]

The guy should not have turned up to collect his son after drinking. If it seemed like he had drunk too much, I would have called the local Police and have him checked for DUI.
Obviously he is not responsible enough to care about setting a good example. He already demonstrated that by not staying with his family in the first place. You did the right thing and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that.
He must have some twisted mind to think (what I think he was insinuating) that you might even consider 'touching' the boy.

 

[5.7 hemi]

It’s good the boy didn’t get into car and leave. Some serious **** could’ve happened. You should have called the cops to report a drunk driver.

Anyway, you did the right thing, doing the right thing and my hat is off to ya!!

 

[Ironbuilt]

You are doing the right thing EVERY day by being a Father to that boy. Like other members stated, give him time and he will see who the real man is. I commend you for not putting your hands on that asshole, but that would've reduced you to his level and you're obviously above that. Keep up the good work, you seem like a really good man.

 

[1967coronet440]

The guy should not have turned up to collect his son after drinking. If it seemed like he had drunk too much, I would have called the local Police and have him checked for DUI.
Obviously he is not responsible enough to care about setting a good example. He already demonstrated that by not staying with his family in the first place. You did the right thing and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that.
He must have some twisted mind to think (what I think he was insinuating) that you might even consider 'touching' the boy.

Thanks roger, not sure if he meant hitting or “touching” honestly never even considered he meant the latter but now that you say it my blood is starting to boil again. you’re right I should’ve got the sheriff involved.

 

[1967coronet440]

It’s good the boy didn’t get into car and leave. Some serious **** could’ve happened. You should have called the cops to report a drunk driver.

Anyway, you did the right thing, doing the right thing and my hat is off to ya!!

Thanks Zack, I should’ve got the police involved but honestly only thing going through my mind was dropping his *** like a bad habit.

 

[69Bee]

Something no one is mentioning, if he shows up drunk to pick up the boy, I wouldn't let him go. He has no right to drink and drive with the boy in the car. I also wouldn't get into a fight, as that does no one any good. If he shows up drunk, ask your wife to let her attorney know. Things can be done about this. Trust me, I know... I was a real dick for the first 3 years, but I had to let it go, and let her slide on some things so she could see her daughter. Be the big man, cause in the long run, the boy will realize what is going on.

 

[5.7 hemi]

Patience grasshopper, lol!! Can’t say that I wouldn’t have dropped him where he stood, but you didn’t, that my friend makes you a better man than most!!

 

[roadrunnerh]

Well, as a fellow stepdad to three girls, plus my biological son, I say take the high road. The guy's a drunk moron making stupid comments. Let it go. The boy may not fully realize it now, but as he gets older, he'll see what a ******** his biological father really is.

 

[1967coronet440]

Well, as a fellow stepdad to three girls, plus my biological son, I say take the high road. The guy's a drunk moron making stupid comments. Let it go. The boy may not fully realize it now, but as he gets older, he'll see what a ******** his biological father really is.

I try, it’s hard to let it go ya know. I never took **** from anyone my whole life.

 

[1967coronet440]

I told my wife he should be thanking god every night before his mommy tucks him in “ yes he lives with his parents” that I wasn’t a few Coronas in or had a couple jack and cokes because there would not have been any talking.